LESSON EIGHT
I consider it to have been the greatest privilege ever accorded to me
by anyone when the Holy Spirit, out of great love for me visited me in that
hospital room and slapped me hard across my face and told me to GET MYSELF
TOGETHER!
I am special. I know that now and I shudder to think why the Holy
Spirit chose me out of all the other patients admitted in that hospital. Why
save me? What does He want from me? What will happen if I make one wrong move
again? Oh God! Anyway, that’s not the point. The point is that I was chosen.
The rest is not for me to know. I was chosen because God had an assignment for
me when he created me and the Holy Spirit made it clear to me that my
assignment must be completed. God must complete the work He started in me.
You see, because God is God, He can choose who to save and who not to
save. I have pleaded with Him many times to save my husband. Yes, I have. I
love my husband. He is my husband. I have no intention of divorcing him. He is
the father of my children. I want him to be saved. I want him to change like me.
I want a fresh start. I am on his side even though it may not look like it. I
can look beyond the foolish things he did and how he almost killed me. I truly
can. The things he did do not matter now that I have changed.
It sounds crazy but from where I am now, I clearly needed him to do those
things. How else would I have gotten here? This perspective only comes to those
who can understand and know that he did not know what he was doing. He still doesn’t.
But it is ok with me. I consider him my learning instrument. God has taught me
everything I know now, through my husband. It is not just about
my husband. I don’t want anyone to go to hell. Sometimes I may feel like they
should be in hell but when all is said and done, heaven is a place where seeing
the faces of some people who you think deserved to go to hell is part of the
joy.
Women who live on the Highway to Heaven are ready and willing to pop
open the champagne when the prodigal sons and daughters finally come to their
senses and stop dining with pigs and return home to their Father. The first in
time are the last in line in Heaven.
The process that goes on in your mind in order for you to bow down to
God is like getting a camel through the eye of a needle. Just imagine what you
have to do for that to happen. The amount of thinking it would take. And you
cannot consult; it is you, not anyone else, who has to get that camel through
that eye of that needle. You look at the camel……………then you look at the needle
and what else is there to think about? It can never be done right? People just
cannot take that amount of thinking. By the time they get to one minute of
thinking about all the lies that exist in their lives and how those lies can be
undone, they give up. The reason my mind was under attack is because my enemy
knew that I have an exceptional mind. I can see the world differently from
others around me. Isn’t that how mad people are? They have peculiar minds.
It is a very sad state of affairs that we are in. The lies have become
so many that every human being alive today cannot imagine surviving without
lying. We now believe that we have to lie to survive and that in itself is a
lie! We have been going round and round in one big circle, from cycle to cycle,
from the beginning of time and for all those trillions of years, we are still
lying to ourselves that we need lies to survive!
I got my camel through the eye of the needle. It took a lot of
thinking and contemplating and wondering and worrying and…….I mean, it was a struggle.
Thankfully I was so desperate that I was willing to try anything at all.
Thankfully, what I tried, worked like magic. I have told you how I did it. It
was not easy. When I try to imagine how my husband would do it, I go blank. Can
you see yourself doing it? You can do it. Its not easy. But even what you are
doing now is not easy. Is it?
Not by power or might but by the Holy Spirit. You don’t have the power
but you can make a choice that will give you the power. God is on your side,
even though it may not look like He is. He wants to save you so badly but His
commands cannot be broken, even by Him. He keeps His Word even if He has to die
for it to stand true. He can save anyone as long as you are willing to choose
to listen to what He says and believe it to be the truth. If you are not
willing, He is unable. This is the only thing that God cannot do. By His own
will, He made it that way.
He only wants those who want Him as He is and not as they would like
Him to be. I do not want anyone who does not want me as I am and only as he
would like me to be. So I understand God. If I am not good enough, it’s ok.
Find someone else. The wonderful thing about God is that He is more than
enough. He is El Shaddai. God’s love for me is incomparable. I go to Him for
everything. I learned to talk to Him about whatever it was that I needed to
tell my husband which if I told him was a completely wasted effort. God
actually heard me and He always told me what I needed to do so that the
discomfort I had would go away. Being loved by someone who knows you better
than yourself is wonderful. It is heavenly bliss.
I am not claiming innocence. I hope that is clear. By God’s standards,
I have fallen short by light-years; in many ways. The Holy Spirit told me that
a fornicator cannot complain about adultery! That is the truth. A door is
either open or closed. All you need is a foothold on that door and you, and
your descendants are done. My willingness to change was greatly motivated by
precisely the fact that I was willing to accept my own sins, confess them and
repent of them. If I couldn’t do that, how can I expect anyone else, and
especially my husband, to do it? But I am not waiting for my husband to change.
I am letting the situation change me. The situation can remain the same. Doesn’t
matter anymore whether it changes or it doesn’t change. Life goes on regardless
and I am living with it.
My ancestors left some wide open doors in my life which I now have to
close. The doors are closed very easily. You just have to choose to be
different. You just have to see what happened to others before you and say, no,
not to me. I will not end up like that and so I will not do the same. You
cannot do the same and end up different! That is a big fat lie! You reap what
you sow.
The difference is not in how you sow but in what you sow. If you sow
maize, you will reap maize. Doesn’t matter if you sow one seed or ten or
thousands, in rows or columns or circles or whatever manner you want to sow
them. There are some rules in this world, which were not made to be broken. You
reap what you sow is one of them. Take it or leave it, it is the truth and it
will not budge no matter how much effort you put into trying to break it. Do
not be deceived. Save your energies for more productive ventures. Those
ventures are there and they will give you what you are looking for.
You will still reap maize as long as you sow maize, no matter how you
sow it. Don’t be deceived. You hurt others in pursuit of your own pleasures and
you will get hurt too and the pain will be yours alone. Do not think that those
around you who are doing the same or who love you so much they will stand by
you no matter what you do will take the heat with you. The pleasure was yours
and the pain will be yours, ALONE. Sin is pleasurable but only for a season.
You cannot get away with it. No one ever did and no one ever will. You
will get what is coming to you and as much as you think you can take it, the
truth is that without God, you cannot take it. Even your loved ones cannot take
it. The force with which your sins come back to you! You need to be there to
get it. I could not believe how my few sins had imploded and exploded on me so
suddenly, without warning! It is a pathetic, pitiful sight to watch your loved
one paying for their sins, their own and the inherited ones, and not be able to
help them. I have been there; on both sides. Watching and being watched. I
know.
Whatever happens to your loved ones who will not listen should not lead
you into despair. They were God’s gift to you and whatever their purpose was in
your life will still be achieved. Trust God. He can do the impossible to
imagine things. Hallelujah! When God helps you, He does not take you out of a
situation, no, He takes you out of sin. And when God helps you, you will never
be the same again. He takes you to another level all together where, like
Joseph, you completely forget your suffering. Suffer now and enjoy later or
enjoy now and suffer later. Its up to you.
Let go to let God. He will mesmerize you with what He can do. Watch
Him work on you, renewing and transforming the way you think, while you are
still living. It is the best life you can ever have. And you do not have to die
to start afresh. You can start afresh any time you decide to. It is your choice
to make.
I have made my choice. I am starting afresh, with or without my
husband, it shall be done. In Jesus’ Name, it shall be done. I will reach my
destiny. I am alive today by the grace of God and that grace truly is amazing.
I wake up every day thanking God that I am alive and well and saved. It’s going
to be a wonderful life. My better days are ahead of me. God is not a God of
nostalgia.
Summary for This Lesson:-
The choice is yours to
make.
Tip for this lesson:-
Don’t think yourself wise, no; think
yourself foolish, only then can wisdom reach you.
Amen
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