Tuesday, 13 August 2013


I consider it to have been the greatest privilege ever accorded to me by anyone when the Holy Spirit, out of great love for me visited me in that hospital room and slapped me hard across my face and told me to GET MYSELF TOGETHER!

I am special. I know that now and I shudder to think why the Holy Spirit chose me out of all the other patients admitted in that hospital. Why save me? What does He want from me? What will happen if I make one wrong move again? Oh God! Anyway, that’s not the point. The point is that I was chosen. The rest is not for me to know. I was chosen because God had an assignment for me when he created me and the Holy Spirit made it clear to me that my assignment must be completed. God must complete the work He started in me.

You see, because God is God, He can choose who to save and who not to save. I have pleaded with Him many times to save my husband. Yes, I have. I love my husband. He is my husband. I have no intention of divorcing him. He is the father of my children. I want him to be saved. I want him to change like me. I want a fresh start. I am on his side even though it may not look like it. I can look beyond the foolish things he did and how he almost killed me. I truly can. The things he did do not matter now that I have changed.

It sounds crazy but from where I am now, I clearly needed him to do those things. How else would I have gotten here? This perspective only comes to those who can understand and know that he did not know what he was doing. He still doesn’t. But it is ok with me. I consider him my learning instrument. God has taught me everything I know now, through my husband. It is not just about my husband. I don’t want anyone to go to hell. Sometimes I may feel like they should be in hell but when all is said and done, heaven is a place where seeing the faces of some people who you think deserved to go to hell is part of the joy. 

Women who live on the Highway to Heaven are ready and willing to pop open the champagne when the prodigal sons and daughters finally come to their senses and stop dining with pigs and return home to their Father. The first in time are the last in line in Heaven.

The process that goes on in your mind in order for you to bow down to God is like getting a camel through the eye of a needle. Just imagine what you have to do for that to happen. The amount of thinking it would take. And you cannot consult; it is you, not anyone else, who has to get that camel through that eye of that needle. You look at the camel……………then you look at the needle and what else is there to think about? It can never be done right? People just cannot take that amount of thinking. By the time they get to one minute of thinking about all the lies that exist in their lives and how those lies can be undone, they give up. The reason my mind was under attack is because my enemy knew that I have an exceptional mind. I can see the world differently from others around me. Isn’t that how mad people are? They have peculiar minds.

It is a very sad state of affairs that we are in. The lies have become so many that every human being alive today cannot imagine surviving without lying. We now believe that we have to lie to survive and that in itself is a lie! We have been going round and round in one big circle, from cycle to cycle, from the beginning of time and for all those trillions of years, we are still lying to ourselves that we need lies to survive!

I got my camel through the eye of the needle. It took a lot of thinking and contemplating and wondering and worrying and…….I mean, it was a struggle. Thankfully I was so desperate that I was willing to try anything at all. Thankfully, what I tried, worked like magic. I have told you how I did it. It was not easy. When I try to imagine how my husband would do it, I go blank. Can you see yourself doing it? You can do it. Its not easy. But even what you are doing now is not easy. Is it?

Not by power or might but by the Holy Spirit. You don’t have the power but you can make a choice that will give you the power. God is on your side, even though it may not look like He is. He wants to save you so badly but His commands cannot be broken, even by Him. He keeps His Word even if He has to die for it to stand true. He can save anyone as long as you are willing to choose to listen to what He says and believe it to be the truth. If you are not willing, He is unable. This is the only thing that God cannot do. By His own will, He made it that way.

He only wants those who want Him as He is and not as they would like Him to be. I do not want anyone who does not want me as I am and only as he would like me to be. So I understand God. If I am not good enough, it’s ok. Find someone else. The wonderful thing about God is that He is more than enough. He is El Shaddai. God’s love for me is incomparable. I go to Him for everything. I learned to talk to Him about whatever it was that I needed to tell my husband which if I told him was a completely wasted effort. God actually heard me and He always told me what I needed to do so that the discomfort I had would go away. Being loved by someone who knows you better than yourself is wonderful. It is heavenly bliss. 

I am not claiming innocence. I hope that is clear. By God’s standards, I have fallen short by light-years; in many ways. The Holy Spirit told me that a fornicator cannot complain about adultery! That is the truth. A door is either open or closed. All you need is a foothold on that door and you, and your descendants are done. My willingness to change was greatly motivated by precisely the fact that I was willing to accept my own sins, confess them and repent of them. If I couldn’t do that, how can I expect anyone else, and especially my husband, to do it? But I am not waiting for my husband to change. I am letting the situation change me. The situation can remain the same. Doesn’t matter anymore whether it changes or it doesn’t change. Life goes on regardless and I am living with it.

My ancestors left some wide open doors in my life which I now have to close. The doors are closed very easily. You just have to choose to be different. You just have to see what happened to others before you and say, no, not to me. I will not end up like that and so I will not do the same. You cannot do the same and end up different! That is a big fat lie! You reap what you sow.

The difference is not in how you sow but in what you sow. If you sow maize, you will reap maize. Doesn’t matter if you sow one seed or ten or thousands, in rows or columns or circles or whatever manner you want to sow them. There are some rules in this world, which were not made to be broken. You reap what you sow is one of them. Take it or leave it, it is the truth and it will not budge no matter how much effort you put into trying to break it. Do not be deceived. Save your energies for more productive ventures. Those ventures are there and they will give you what you are looking for.

You will still reap maize as long as you sow maize, no matter how you sow it. Don’t be deceived. You hurt others in pursuit of your own pleasures and you will get hurt too and the pain will be yours alone. Do not think that those around you who are doing the same or who love you so much they will stand by you no matter what you do will take the heat with you. The pleasure was yours and the pain will be yours, ALONE. Sin is pleasurable but only for a season.

You cannot get away with it. No one ever did and no one ever will. You will get what is coming to you and as much as you think you can take it, the truth is that without God, you cannot take it. Even your loved ones cannot take it. The force with which your sins come back to you! You need to be there to get it. I could not believe how my few sins had imploded and exploded on me so suddenly, without warning! It is a pathetic, pitiful sight to watch your loved one paying for their sins, their own and the inherited ones, and not be able to help them. I have been there; on both sides. Watching and being watched. I know.

Whatever happens to your loved ones who will not listen should not lead you into despair. They were God’s gift to you and whatever their purpose was in your life will still be achieved. Trust God. He can do the impossible to imagine things. Hallelujah! When God helps you, He does not take you out of a situation, no, He takes you out of sin. And when God helps you, you will never be the same again. He takes you to another level all together where, like Joseph, you completely forget your suffering. Suffer now and enjoy later or enjoy now and suffer later. Its up to you.

Let go to let God. He will mesmerize you with what He can do. Watch Him work on you, renewing and transforming the way you think, while you are still living. It is the best life you can ever have. And you do not have to die to start afresh. You can start afresh any time you decide to. It is your choice to make.

I have made my choice. I am starting afresh, with or without my husband, it shall be done. In Jesus’ Name, it shall be done. I will reach my destiny. I am alive today by the grace of God and that grace truly is amazing. I wake up every day thanking God that I am alive and well and saved. It’s going to be a wonderful life. My better days are ahead of me. God is not a God of nostalgia.

Summary for This Lesson:-

The choice is yours to make.

Tip for this lesson:-

Don’t think yourself wise, no; think yourself foolish, only then can wisdom reach you.