You have to be so determined to be different and not to end up like your ancestors that you are willing to die for the sake of seeing the difference that your ancestors never made. I hope you got that point. It is important. I am changing so that I can see who my mother could have been, had she changed.
When you choose to change, you are venturing into the unknown and the unknown is very, very, uncomfortable. You are going into something that no eye has seen and no ear has heard. Something that God has kept aside specially for those who love Him.
You have to allow yourself to change. It’s hard because you are so used to being you but it’s the same as you did when you were a child: learning to sit, then stand, then walk, then talk. We’ve all been there. You do not have to imagine the bliss of being a child. You have experienced it and survived it. Go for it. You are still there. You are still learning. You are a work in progress. You can only progress if you change. Change you, not him or her or them or it. Change you. You have to be like a little child. They just sit, and walk and talk, and climb and grow….they just change and they believe that the change is good for them even though they don’t understand how. And they change no matter their situations.
The unknown is like a fornicator deciding to stop sleeping with an adulterer, not because adultery is wrong, but because fornication is wrong. Yes, I had to decide that the foundation of my marriage was all wrong and it started with fornication, not adultery. My marriage was built on sinking sand and, it sank! Not surprising.
You have to dig deep inside yourself to the source of the problem and pull it out hard and painfully. The problem is in you, not anywhere else. It is you! Once you know that, and you want to solve the problem badly enough, you will be willing to take the pain of extracting from you, the source of the problem. To extract the source of the problem, you must reverse the process that got you there in the first place and start afresh.
Separating from my husband was not easy. It never is. Most people are not willing to start again. They just want to persevere and hide and pretend that it’s ok. That is why so many marriages are so messed up. Nobody wants to accept the blame for getting us to where we are today. Not the men, not the women. The truth is that whoever takes the blame, has to be the one to change and heh!! Me, I change? Let him/her change first, then I will think about it! In the meantime, our children are growing up and ending up just like us. When will this stop?
It stops with me. I will not hide and pretend that everything is ok. It is not ok. That is the truth. I admit that I did some things that were wrong and I am willing to take the blame for allowing us to get to where we are now.
Women who live on the Highway to Heaven are always willing to take the blame because their Saviour took the blame for everything when He had done nothing and He was beaten, whipped, stabbed, mutilated, cut up, thrashed, nailed, jeered at, insulted, abused, mocked and crucified when He had done nothing AT ALL.
Now imagine the Spirit of such a man living in you. What can you not take? You can take it. Tell them to bring it on. Yes, it is your fault. While you were working, you didn’t cook. You didn’t sit and eat with the children. You lied. You didn’t go to church. You gloated. You looked down on people. You this. You that. You whatever. It’s ok. I could take it and I did. And am still standing. It was my fault. I got myself in there. And I got myself out.
Many people believe in God. But few are the number of those who believe God. I believe that every word that is written in the Bible is true. For most of my life, I have been searching for the truth. Who knows where the truth is? Gosh, the day I realized that the truth is in the Bible, I was flabagasted. How? What is it about the Bible that is the truth?
Well I really cannot explain it to you. You just have to experience it for yourself. The Word of God is alive and active, sharper than a double-edged sword. The Word is a spirit. It permeates into your mind and does things in there much like medicine. A doctor prescribes some pills, you take them and they go into you and voila! Problem solved. It is the same with the Bible except that the Bible heals you through and through – body, mind, spirit, soul, everything. From the inside, out.
Being able to write about my experience in my marriage, like the way I had written ‘mind boggling’ is one of the things I have had to do to heal myself. I believe it is a big part of the reason that I survived my marriage. Yes, it is still all about me and it will never be about any-one else, ever again. Not even about my children. They can take it. I am their mother. Superwoman is their mother. What cant they take? If my husband looked at me and saw that I was capable of increasing my level of responsibility and become a combination of a boss, a working mother, stay at home mum, full time house wife, taking care of my family and his family and whatever else he so desired, and ON TOP OF ALL THAT, endure the pain of him sleeping around, then I must be superwoman!!
People see you as you really are. Even the ones who hate you and especially them. They are in your life for a very special purpose. They tell you who you should be. Listen. They know. They tell it like it is. Don’t hear them; listen to them. They are telling the truth. You should be all that. Yes, you are in fact all that they expect you to be. Be it. Don’t hold it against them. Just be it and let them see it. It will burn them inside to see you be that which they say you ought to be and you appear not to be. Imagine that! I am becoming superwoman. But not for him. For me.
Do it for you, not them. Do not be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good. Love your enemies and do good to those who persecute you. I listened to my husband and I knew that I needed to become better in some way. I just did not know what way that was until I decided to be different from my mother and even his mother and left that hospital room and my whole past behind me.
Summary for This Lesson:-
Don’t be afraid. Change is safe. You can always change and if you do not like the change, you can change again. It’s child-like fun to change. Go on, try it. Take the blame and change.
Tip for this lesson:-
Listen to everything your critics say about you no matter how they say it. They hold the key to who you will become if you change. Change to become that which they say you are not and should be.