LESSON SEVEN

LESSON SEVEN

My life changed in that hospital bed under the care of my mother’s psychiatrist. He did not do anything spectacular. Just his presence was enough. He was probably the one who was most shocked about what he was seeing. You can just imagine him trying to understand how my mother could have passed on the madness to me! Of course he did not tell me he was shocked but it was obvious even to me. I think he and I are the only 2 people who would understand just how shocking it was to see me becoming just like my mother.

I had never seen such a thing in my life, or rather, I had never quite grasped the meaning of inheritance until that day. That was my inheritance from my ancestors. That was what they left me to deal with. I almost followed in their footsteps. God Almighty!! Thank God that almost doesn’t count in this case!

In this world you can become so distracted by all the things around you that you never stop to ask yourself who you are and what you are doing here.

I had only known my husband for about 10 years. He could never take the blame for what had happened to me. Somewhere in the back of my mind, from even before we were married, I knew that. I think that was what saved my life. God’s people perish for lack of knowledge and that small piece of knowledge is what saved my life.

The world had not distracted me enough to take away everything I had learned in my 38 years of being alive. I know you will find it hard to imagine that all you need is to know that no one is to blame for your situation in order to be saved but that is the truth. NO ONE IS TO BLAME FOR YOUR SITUATION!

If you get nothing else from me, I pray to God that you at least get that sentence and let it be engraved in your mind for as long as you walk on this earth.

NO ONE IS TO BLAME FOR YOUR SITUATION. Doesn’t matter what they did or did not do or whatever, NO ONE IS TO BLAME FOR YOUR SITUATION.

Women who live on the Highway to Heaven do not blame anyone for the situations they find themselves in.

The courage it took for me to STOP wanting my husband to get rid of his receptionist or someone to do something to make him stop really did not come from me. I did not have that courage. The courage to stop looking outside of me for the solution to my problem and start looking inside of me I know is not human courage.

Only the Holy Spirit could have done that to me or for me or however you want to look at it. A shift just happened and suddenly I found myself contemplating a solution on my own with no one else around. Although there was a time previously that I actually contemplated suicide, it was not an option that I took seriously enough.

  

By the time I ended up in hospital I was convinced that my husband loved me enough to listen to me and do the right thing. I just needed to find a way to make him listen to my cries for help. I stayed in hospital for 3 days and from the day I left until now, I occasionally find myself wondering what would have happened to me if I kept on thinking that there was a way of getting my husband to listen to my cries for help and trying to find that way. That way never came and it will never come. Thankfully, I do not need it to ever come.

And let it be clear that it was not my husband who was refusing to listen to me. He listened but he could not do anything. That is the truth. He could not do anything because He couldn’t. It is that simple. There is no reason, explanation, justification, argument or whatever that could ever be given for him being unable to do anything that could satisfy the minds of all of us in this world.

There are some questions in life that have to be left unanswered. Do not bother yourself with asking why so and so is like that or why she cant see or why he cant do. It doesn’t matter. People are just who they are and there is NOTHING you can do about them but let them be. If you have a problem, deal with it yourself otherwise you will end up in a spiral spinning fast and hard into oblivion. Let everyone live their own lives. God has given each and every one of us the free will to decide what to do with our lives.

I had to get to a point where I realized that my help………….my only source of help…………….was not my husband or anyone else. My help had to come from me and it had to come from me hearing my own cries and instead of waiting for someone to come and help me, I had to help myself. It is you who has to hear your own cries. Even those who love you cannot help you. They can listen, suggest, cry, moan, weep, finance, whatever but they cannot help you. Only you can help you. Life is that tough and you have to live with it.

I was rehabilitated in that hospital room. When I realized that I had to help myself, I just sat there quietly just watching what was happening around me and asking myself what my options were. How could I help myself? How do I get myself out of this situation? What is my future going to be like? What will happen to my children? How, what, who where?? I had many, many, questions.

The Holy Spirit led me to accept that my husband was who he was and he was not going to change for me. That was never going to happen. He would change for himself only. It was then, at that point of accepting that my husband would only change for himself; that in actual fact he only cared about himself; that is when I realized that I NEED TO CHANGE. I need to stop doing something. Something that was killing me. I NEEDED TO CHANGE FOR MYSELF!!! It was not about him at all. It was all about me. Can you see that?

This lesson my dear readers, is the MOST IMPORTANT LESSON YOU WILL EVER LEARN IN LIFE. That is if you do not know it already. If you are experiencing any kind of problem in your life, the solution lies ONLY in you changing yourself. The solution is not anywhere else. It is within you. It is you who has to stop doing something or start doing something. Do not look on the outside; look on the inside.

Women who live on the Highway to Heaven do not try to change their situations; they let their situations change them.

Hear me ladies, please. This is important. Now I never worry or get anxious about any situation I find myself in. What I do is ask God to use the situation to change me. And it works wonders. I am changing and becoming a force to reckon with. The truth has a sense of joyous fearlessness, letting go, careless abandon, call it what you like, that beats any experience of pleasure that this world could ever offer anyone.

It is hard. I know it is. Very very hard. To get to that point in life where you give up and surrender and exclaim and say, ok so I only have myself?! Its only me?! As in, this life is mine alone?! I am in it all by myself?! Nobody, can live it for me?! It is just me?!

Don’t resist the truth. Let the truth be told and let yourself hear it and let it set you free. IT IS ONLY YOU. THIS IS YOUR LIFE. Let your life change you, don’t try to change your life. Your life is there to change you, not vice versa. Do not try to change your life. Please don’t try that. You change. And I guarantee you, you will not be disappointed by what you get. At the very least, you will be singing hallelujah forever and ever amen.

After repeating that truth to myself over and over and over again, I then entered into a nostalgic mood of asking who are all these people around me? How do I relate with them? I don’t matter to any of them then considering that I am here alone! If it’s only me, then can I just do whatever I want without caring about anyone other than myself? The answer there is yes. You can do whatever you want without caring about anyone or anything around you and just live for you. You can make any choice you want to make, just be ready to live with the consequences. Every choice you make, has consequences.

God is that good. He lets you do whatever you want. Being God, it really doesn’t matter what you choose to do or not to do. He is, was and will always be God. He has an endless supply of people to create forever and ever amen and if you destroy yourself, he will just create someone else to do what you couldn’t.

You are not God and you destroying yourself makes no difference at all to this world. God’s purposes will be achieved, with or without you. The truth was there from the beginning, it is there now and it will always be there. You can never do anything to destroy the truth. If you try to destroy the truth, you are the one who will be destroyed. Lies destroy you, they cannot ever destroy the truth. The truth stands firm like a mountain, like the sun, like the moon, it is never shaken, never moved. Like the sky, it towers above and beyond everything that is, was and will be. The truth reigns supreme. Lies are many. They are like roaches in a dirty kitchen. Roaches will never take over a kitchen no matter how many they become. This is the state of the world today.

Do not try to change the world order and think that just because everyone else is doing whatever, it is okay for you to do whatever. We can destroy ourselves and God will still be God. One day, whether in your life time or at your death, you will come to realize just how insignificant you are and just how important it is, ONLY TO YOU, that you begin to do the right thing because if you do not do it, you end up dead. Every knee shall bow and every tongue shall confess that Jesus Christ is Lord. You wait and see. It will happen. It will happen because, ALL of us are in it ALONE.

Whenever you want to make a choice, try to be sure of what you are really getting. Do not be deceived into thinking you are getting pleasure when in fact, you are getting pain. This world has a sickening way of deceiving people into thinking pleasure when it is actually pain. Then people get into making some incredibly selfish choices that destroy them and their descendants for decades to come.

Read about King Solomon. The wisest man who ever lived and the choices he made. And how his father, King David, left Solomon an inheritance to deal with. Read also about Samson; the strongest man who ever lived. The choices he made and the consequences.

To live on the Highway to Heaven, you have to be able to make choices that will not destroy you. There is a way that looks right to a man but it leads to death.

Summary for This Lesson:-

You only matter to yourself. When and if you die, you die alone. Life will and must go on forever, with or without you.

Tip for this lesson:-

Think about YOU. Who are YOU? What are YOU doing? Stop thinking about ANYONE ELSE. Remove the log from your own eye before you try to remove the speck in the eye of another.

LESSON SIX

LESSON SIX

I will never forget 5^th March 2012. That was the day I came face to face with my husband when he came strolling down the stairs to find me waiting near his car at a block of flats in Langata. When I had called him earlier, he had told me that he was in Nakumatt. I was convinced that he was lying to me. He had lied to me many, many, many times before. In fact, he had lied throughout our marriage.

I never checked up on him at all before this day and in fact, I knew nothing about anything when I was standing there at around 10pm and said, “David, I thought you told me you were in Nakumatt?” And he responded and said, “I am going there now!”   

I later discovered that the person from whose flat he had emerged was his 20-something year old receptionist. I also later discovered that he had been having an affair with her and she had replaced his previous receptionist who he had been dating, according to him, from before we were married.

On that day, I was at our home in the evening reading a novel I enjoyed. The novel was about a broken marriage. Needless to say, I did not get to finish it because what I had been reading as fiction became my real life. Prior to that day, I would never have believed that my God-fearing, Seventh day Adventist, religious church-goer of a husband was an adulterer and in fact felt no guilt or remorse whatsoever about his affairs.

He assumed that by the time I found him at his girlfriend’s flat, I knew everything. That night he transformed into a monstrosity. He followed me home and the first chance he got he ranted and raved at me telling me essentially that I was an obstacle to his happiness, burdening him with responsibilities that he never bargained for. Other than that, I was nothing to him. I found it hard to believe him.

In the course of the days that followed I was told things like:-

1.   When you told me you didn’t trust me, I just laughed because I never asked you to trust me!

2.   I don’t know why you keep calling her a receptionist. You like looking down on people. I don’t know why you think you’re so special just because you are a lawyer. She respects you so much! She has never attacked you in any way! I am not like you, I treat everyone the same.

3.   I do not believe in marriage or love.

4.   I married you to please my mother. People used to tell her all the time about how even though I have succeeded financially, I will never amount to anything because I am not married. After I got married, they used to say ok he’s married, but why don’t they have kids. After we had a daughter, they used to say ok he’s got a child, but he doesn’t have any son. After we had our first son, they stopped talking and now my mother is happy.

5.   Ok so I commit adultery, even you lie. The Bible says that all sins are the same.

6.   Don’t think you are cleverer than your mother. That Bible you keep reading all the time carrying it around with you is what will drive you mad like her. The Bible is just a guideline.

7.   She was so distressed when she found out that I was married. I could not just break up with her like that. If I tried, she threatened to kill herself. I had to do it slowly. That’s why it took me 9 years.

8.   When we had our daughter, she had promised that she would be the one to give me a son. When you then had our first son, she was so distressed that I had to send her to America to recover.

In addition, I found all the emails my husband had been exchanging with his previous receptionist and read through them all. I was unable to recognize the 19 year-old boy of a husband of mine writing those emails and some of the things I read there were just unbelievable. I got to know his current girlfriend’s phone number and just as well, it turned out that the last 5 digits of her number were identical to the last 5 digits of his number. How romantic! On those evenings when I would sit there, 9 months pregnant, watching my husband eat the food I had cooked and waited up to serve him after coming from work to make him happy, he would be texting her. I would sit there just praying for sanity as I watched him texting and turning the phone away from my line of sight somewhat like an excited 16 year old.

Sometimes when we were asleep late at night, she would call. I suppose she knew then that their affair was no longer a secret. I was usually awake because I had a baby to take care of. If he didn’t pick the call, I would go look and see her number on the phone and wonder what the call could possibly be about other than just to let me know she was around. I also wondered what she was doing awake. Other times, if he was awake, he would actually pick the call and go out of the room to go talk to her and then come back to bed!!! Can you believe this?!

I did not believe that this was the same person I was married to and I still think, no, something somewhere went wrong one day and he lost his mind and then he was in the process of making me lose mine too. It was a competition to see who would enter the asylum first. Thankfully, I had previous experience in dealing with mental patients because I once tried to live with my mother a short while after getting her off the streets and I almost lost my mind then.

In August of that year, the receptionist posted a picture on face-book of her pecking my husband on his forehead and when I told him off about it, my nephew, who I was raising, being the one who had showed me the photograph, and I had been trying hard to prevent him from finding out about what was happening because he was sitting a national exam that year, he retorted by saying it was just a peck!

Obviously I had gotten married to a polygamist and I didn’t know. His bloodline must have never featured a monogamous man probably for millions of generations. The enemy we fight is lethal. Had my husband been straight with me from the beginning and told me what his intentions really were in marrying me, if I was still interested, I would have drawn up a contract to ensure that I would have equal rights and that our co-wives and co-husbands would be selected by mutual agreement.

From 5^th March 2012 to 17^th September 2012 when I was admitted in hospital under the care of my mother’s psychiatrist, my life was spiraling at full speed to a grand finale of me ending up like my mother.

17^th September 2012 was the final time that I pleaded with my husband to stop his affair with his receptionist. I really had no better title to refer to her with. He did not even explain to me what I was meant to call her. Her role at his office is to sit at the desk at the entrance right next to the front door and pick up calls and welcome visitors into the office.

I was at the admission room and my husband was there with me. Our recently born baby was still breast-feeding at around 5 months. I was losing my mind. He knew that. In a lucid moment, I said, “David please, just get rid of that girl and let us fix our marriage for the sake of our children.” The answer I got shocked me into delirium. He said, “I cant do that! If I did that she would kill herself. Imagine someone killing themselves using my name. I could never live with that!” The next thing I knew, I was groggily waking up the next morning after being tranquilized that night. God Almighty!! That was me!

I could have died that night. No actually, I died that night. The me who woke up the next morning was completely lucid and alive to the following facts:

1.   Whatever lay ahead in life was bigger than the battle of the titans.

2. I was not fighting human beings. I was fighting against spiritual wickedness in high places. My husband and his compatriots are just vessels. (Knowing this, I am so thankful that I am not like them!)

3.   The battle is the Lord’s.

4.   God is never out-numbered or over-powered.

5.   My enemies are under God’s firm control.

6.   Anyone who strikes me, strikes what is most precious to God.

7.   GOD HAS A MONOPOLY OF POWER. Yes people, all power belongs to God. Even your enemies are empowered by God.

I never communicated at all with my husband’s girlfriend. She knew me well. She had even been to our home for my son’s birthday party. The same with his previous receptionist/girlfriend.

When I left him, it was very clear to me that the receptionist was the one he wanted to be with. They clearly deserved each other. He had told me that she is special and makes him happy. He was renting her flat for her and educating her in university. He even used to buy her flight tickets to go see her mum from my aunt’s travel agency!

  

They continued their affair openly with no shame, not caring about the havoc they were causing jeopardizing the future of the children of the home they were breaking by mistreating the woman who was responsible for the care and nurturing of those children. I was so sure that as soon as I left he would move her into our home, which I had spent millions re-decorating in the hope that we could start afresh and make things work. To facilitate that, I left him everything and only took what was evidently mine, including the kids, obviously.

It came as a shock to me when, after I left, he then said that the receptionist meant nothing to him and he was going to get rid of her! After a while, she disappeared from his office. What am I missing here? Is it not a tad bit late to be thinking of working on a dead marriage? When I decided to end our marriage, I took our wedding bands and disposed of them in a burial ceremony which symbolized to me that our marriage was dead and buried and I told him as much. When the person who hurt you insists on remaining the same after you have changed, there really is nothing that can be done to make any relationship with them work out.

It saddens me to imagine that people can joke with the life of another human being in such a callous way. Can a man really destroy the mother of his children for fun?! His wife, maybe. But the mother of his children? Was that affair purposed only to destroy me? 

When my husband went about soliciting happiness from other women, what did he tell them was wrong with me, his wife? My best guess is that he must have told them the same thing he told me about them. That I was so obsessed with him, I threatened to kill myself if he did not marry me; so I trapped him! God Almighty!! 

My husband shamelessly walked around the town I was working hard to build a home and career and raise my children in, defaming and slandering me to his peers and to the young women who hold PHDs in sexual immorality and everyone else associated and connected with this crowd in which he found his happiness.

On this quest to show women that I can help them find happiness, I have no choice but to clear my name in the process.

Summary for This Lesson:-

Marriage can kill but the same power that raised Christ from the dead lives in you. Marriage is worth the risk. But only when God is before you.

Tip for this lesson:-

Trust only God.

LESSON FIVE

LESSON FIVE

You will never get onto the Highway to Heaven until you stop lying.

Let me just tell you again that human power is useless against lies. If you are sitting there imagining that you can stop lying by your own power and succeed, my friend, am sorry to tell you that that is a lie. If you cannot see that that is a lie, don’t worry, soon enough, you will come to that realization. 

For me to stop lying, I first had to go through an extremely painful process. It was so painful that I cried for at least a whole month non-stop. Have you ever been able to do that? It is not by choice. I just woke up crying, got dressed for work crying, then paused for as long as it took to get out of my room and get into the car and drive out the gate. Then I would cry all the way to wherever I was going. If I was going to the office or to court or to a meeting I would stop crying for long enough to compose myself, then go and do whatever it was I needed to do and then as soon as I got back in the car I would start crying until I got to wherever and continue the cycle.

Then at the end of the day I would cry all the way home and then stop crying, get into the house and cook and sit and eat with the kids and get them into bed and then I would sit in my room crying until my husband came home and then I would get out of the room and go serve his food and then go sit with him as he ate and talked and then I would wait until I was sure that he was happy with what I had done and then I would retire to bed and cry myself to sleep. I did all this on my 9^th month of pregnancy with our 3^rd child.

And my husband felt nothing. He chose to be completely oblivious to my pain.

He told me that he was not happy because I did not do those things even though he knew that I was already doing more than enough. When I started doing them, on top of everything else, he then told me that he never told me to do them. He was just helping me to know that it was my role to do them. And if I chose to do them, I should not assume that he would do anything in return. That was when I picked up point numbers 7 and 8 in lesson two on forgiveness.

I sincerely believed that what I was doing would save our marriage for the sake of our 3 lovely children. And I kid you not, no one but Jesus could have convinced me that I was in actual fact being destroyed by a stronghold that had taken root in my mind as it had done to my mother. I had every argument, defence, explanation, justification, excuse, debate point, discussion point, reason, whatever, to convince me that I was doing the right thing. Extracting that stronghold out of my mind was a job for Jesus.

When He came into my life, He eventually showed me that I was, for all intents and purposes, a battered wife. I may not have had the physical wounds to show it but my husband’s words and actions stabbed me so deep, I could literally feel them cutting into me like a knife, hence the uncontrollable crying.  The pain was invisible, but to me, it was real. I don’t know how to explain it. All I can say is that whoever coined the phrase ‘back-stabbing’ would know what I mean. No matter what I tried to do, I could not get myself to stop crying. I could not see what was happening to me but I felt it and it hurt so bad yet it did not make sense!

Only those who knew what was going on with me knew what I was going through. The rest of the world thought I looked so beautiful pregnant and wondered at how I didn’t put on weight during pregnancy and I just smiled and said it was by the grace of God. And that, my friends, is the truth. It was only by the grace of God that I made it out of that furnace. Gosh it was hot like hell!! I laugh now when I imagine that that was me.

When I went to the labour ward to have my baby, as I lay there alone waiting for each contraction, I refused to cry. I refused to feel the pain. I told Jesus that if He could go through what He went through at the cross, then I could do this. I can confidently say that out of my 3 children, the birth of my third born was the easiest.

So it is not that I am being dramatic saying that lies are that powerful. I know exactly what it took me to stop. And by human standards, I was a good girl people. Everyone who knows me can tell you that by their own standards, I am good. Good in every way; by human standards. God has blessed me with a kind, generous heart and I love people. The me I used to be once wrote a blog titled ‘mind boggling’. That blog gives a good enough picture of who I used to be. If that was me, and I had to endure all that for refusing to stop lying, I hate to imagine what the rest of the world has to endure. I mean, if what I went through was not hell……………what do people go through in hell? I don’t want to know and that is why I am writing this blog. I will obey God even if it kills me because I know that only He has the power to raise the dead.

The reason I had to go through all that pain to stop lying is because I just could not believe that the lies I and my ancestors had told and the ones that had been told to me and my ancestors were the ones that were threatening to destroy my life. Are you finding it hard to believe this awesome truth? Well then you do know what I am telling you.

I used to think that I did not have to stop lying. It sounded too bizarre and ridiculous for the Holy Spirit, I mean the Holy Spirit, to come and tell me that if I just stopped lying I would be fine. Something like the way you could tell a lame man to get up and walk. What do you mean, get up and walk?! Is it really truly that easy and I’ve been limping around like this for years?

The irony here is that what I was thinking was too easy to be the solution was in actual fact more difficult than what I thought was difficult and which I was therefore willing to do. God’s wisdom truly is foolishness to the world.

I do not wish the pain I went through on anyone and so I beseech you please, take precaution; life is not a rehearsal; I got off easy because, like Job, I was already a good person who knew God before He sent satan after me. From this moment on, purpose to stop lying and ask God to help you.

You need God’s help because you do not even know what or where the lies are in your life. I have discovered so many lies around me that I never saw before. They are so many because they are lies which were told from before I was born. On the Highway to Heaven I began to discover who my parents and ancestors really were. All the questions I had about what happened to my mother and my father and whatever else I did not understand about my heritage started to get answered. The lies surrounded me. Everyone who was ever entrusted with my upbringing and welfare had at some point lied to me and some even betrayed me.

There is no human being, not even yourself, who can tell you who you are or show you what to do in this world to be genuinely happy. There is no one like Jesus. None. I have searched and searched and searched and I have found genuine happiness only in what Jesus tells me to do. It is the story of the Potter and the clay. No clay can mould itself and no clay can be moulded by other clay. There is only one Potter people; only one Potter.

I thought my search for God had ended when I met my husband. He presented to me a picture of a God-fearing man. One who knew God and served God. I thought to myself at the time that from him, I would get to really know where this God I had been searching for all my days in Sunday school, church-hopping and youth group and philosophy and atheism could be found. Obviously that was God telling me the role of that guy standing next to me (lying, and saying I do) in my life because the truth is that I did in fact get to find my God through him; just not in the way I imagined at the time.

I was very naïve then and I still am naïve but I take that as a compliment. I do not ever want to fit into this world and be satisfied with what it has to offer. My happiness comes from being a child of the Most High God and from telling the truth in obedience to Him even if it hurts. I know that the truth cannot kill me. No. The truth sets me free. My future is in God’s hands. His plans for me are to prosper me and to give me hope and a future. I am assured of that.

Summary for This Lesson:-

Destroy the lies before they destroy you

Tip for this lesson:-

Stop lying; be still and let the truth take over.

LESSON FOUR

LESSON FOUR

If it is true that you lie, you die, then it is also true that if you stop lying, you will live.

It is important at this stage that you understand the difference between living on the Highway to Heaven and living on any other highway. Once you understand that difference, then you will understand the meaning of the walking dead.

In my lying days, I was a walking dead. I thought I was living but in fact, I was dying.

What was killing me was lack of knowledge. God’s people perish for lack of knowledge. I did not know who my enemy was; the one who was preventing me from becoming the person who I imagined and dreamt that I was meant to be. That enemy seemed to be everywhere I went setting up invisible road blocks and barricades to stop me from getting what my heart desired.

Now I know that my enemy all along was the father of lies. He was responsible for everything that had gone wrong in my life from before I was born until the moment I figured him out.

The lies I told and the lies that were told to me overpowered me. And what the lies did is this: they robbed me of my God-given ability to receive love and give love. You cannot live on the Highway to Heaven until you know who love is so that you can receive Him and pass Him on. Love is real. He is a living being. To receive love, all you need is to believe in Him i.e. that He exists; and believe that what He says is true.

Like I said earlier, love and lies cannot co-exist. They cannot ever live together. Only one of them can live inside of you. Once you welcome lies into your life, love departs. Once you welcome love into your life, lies depart.

Living on the Highway to Heaven is all about re-claiming the gifts of the Spirit that my enemy ruthlessly and violently robbed from me. The robbery began long before I was born. The gifts of the Spirit as I told you before are: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, humility and self-control. Nine wonderful gifts which, if I can have in good measure pressed down and overflowing, I can have a life that is exceedingly, abundantly more than I could ever imagine or ask.

These gifts can only be re-claimed progressively. That means that you claim love first, then joy, then peace etc until you have self-control. I do not yet know what will happen to me when I have re-claimed all these gifts fully but I know that whatever will happen is soooooooo amazingly good that it is something worth dying for. Since death to me at this stage is really not much of a choice, I choose to die for these gifts. There is nothing else worth dying for in my world. At this stage, I have successfully re-claimed love. Love is the center of my life. Since the move, I re-claimed joy. Now I am in the process of re-claiming peace.

  

The first three gifts: love, joy and peace, are for me when I deal with myself. Patience, kindness, goodness and faithfulness are for me when I deal with others. Humility and self-control are for me when I deal with God.

I can only imagine what I will feel like when I see myself fully endowed with those gifts. If I am so happy and complete now……….what will I be then? Only God knows and that is why I have given my life to Him so that He can make sure I get there. But you know what, I will never get there really. I am living on the eternity clock. This is a never-ending quest in which I just keep getting more and more and more and more of all these gifts every day forever. I truly will never be the same again. I am being transformed into someone I cannot wait to meet.

For those of you, like me, who have children and those of you who want to have children, there is a very, very important point for you to grasp here. The point is that your success in re-claiming the gifts of the Spirit is the success of your descendants. The lies you refuse to tell; your children will not tell. The lies you agree to tell; your children will tell. The lies are always the same. Only the situations change. Same script; different cast.

Look at your parents and ask yourself whether you are truly any different from them. Your resemblance to your parents goes deeper than the physical. It permeates to the emotional, spiritual and psychological realms. Do not be deceived. What you choose to do today affects all of your descendants. No man is an island.

I used to look at my mother, who, when I first met her, was a village mad-woman. I would ask myself how she could have gotten like that. About 5 months after I left the labour ward having had my 3^rd born child, I found myself in a hospital room under the care of the same psychiatrist who was treating my mother! Lo and behold! What the…….? That was the greatest aha moment of all aha moments ever. To see yourself in the same pit that you used to stand outside of looking in on your mother, or father, wondering how she or he got there and why she or he cannot just climb out!!!!

That was the day I knew just what had happened to my mother. She had given her hope, dreams, expectations, values, everything she had in her, to the world. She thought that the world could produce a man, woman or thing that could satisfy her. That thought, which was a lie, had established itself, engraved itself in her mind so strongly that it took hold of her life and brutally destroyed it.

Such a thought is what is commonly called, a stronghold. That stronghold is what had got me to the same place as my mother. I know you don’t want to even hear this because I didn’t; but the truth is that strongholds are inherited. As surely as they took hold of your ancestors’ minds, they will take hold of your mind. The question is whether you have within you, the will that it takes to break a stronghold. You can choose to either be killed, have all your God-given gifts stolen from you and destroyed by a stronghold, or you can choose to break it and live. My ancestors obviously took the former choice and going by the state of the world today, I can see that even today, majority of us are taking the former choice. Strongholds exist for only one purpose and that is to kill, steal and destroy.

At that moment, when I saw myself becoming exactly like my mother, realizing that my beauty, my law degree, my law firm, my money, my employees, my children, my mum, my siblings, my properties and assets, my everything worldly could not save me; and then imagining my children falling into the same cycle I had fallen into, is the moment I decided that it ends with me. The thought that any of my children would ever lose their minds like me and like my mother before me ad infinitum, sobered me up completely and I gave up the fight.

From that day on, I decided to live and die for a better me. I decided then to be one of the ones who others who fell for that stronghold could turn to. I signed up for duty in the Army of the Lord. I am a soldier in the army of the Lord. My orders are to go out and tell everyone I know what the Lord has done for me and lead everyone who is willing to listen, to find Him so that He can do the same for them.

Summary for This Lesson:-

Give up lies for the sake of your children.

Tip for this lesson:-

Look deeply into the eyes of your child (or any child that you know and love) and ask yourself whether you are willing to die for that child.

LESSON THREE

LESSON THREE

The first thing that I did when I discovered what my husband had been doing is to stop lying completely.

I used to lie to people. I was not a pathological liar but I was comfortable with some lies. I believed that I needed to lie. I was a fearful person. I feared being myself. I thought that if I said what was in my heart all the time, I would be harmed in some way. So I needed to lie.

I lied because I did not want to be hurt. What a fool I was!

The truth does not just hurt; it hurts like hell. But the hurt you get from truth is nothing compared to the hurt you get from lies. This is precisely because the hurt you get from truth is only temporary; it only lasts as long as it takes you to change.

Do not be deceived. The hurt you get from lies lasts for ETERNITY!

It was so painful to tell the truth when I was so used to lying to defend myself against the world. Even now, sometimes, rarely, thankfully, I still get fearful and tell a lie. I have not yet been able to be completely truthful with everyone, all the time.

Being truthful in a world ruled by lies and deception is like going to war against Goliath with just a sling and one stone. Understand that Goliath is not the war. Goliath is just a battle and yes, a sling and a stone will slay Goliath and win you the battle.

The war however, is much bigger than Goliath. The war requires much more than a sling and a stone. It requires complete obedience to God.

Complete obedience to God is what I strive for. It is what motivates me. It is my drive. I do not live by bread alone; meaning, I do not just obey my physical hunger. I also live by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God; meaning I also obey my spiritual hunger.

Women who live on the Highway to Heaven desire only to please God and what pleases God is obedience.

For me, a lie is not just an outright untruth. Any lack of honesty is a lie. If I know that you have misunderstood something I have said to you, I will endeavour to clear up the confusion so that I am satisfied that you truly get me.

The effort to clear things up arises from the fact that the fear I used to have that drove me to lie has now been replaced by an adoration that I have for who I have become which has overpowered the fear and which makes me hate lies. I hate lies. I love me. I love that I can never be overcome by lies. Greater is the power that is in me than that which is in the world.

Women who live on the Highway to Heaven are not fearful. They are adorable.

I stopped lying because, as I prayed and read my Bible, the Holy Spirit told me something I had never ever known about lies. He told me that the reason I had been lied to was because I lied to others.

Have you ever been fully conscious of the wise saying: YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW? I am and so I do not lie.

Understand that the saying you reap what you sow does not mean that if you do not lie you will not be lied to. No. It means that if you do not lie, lies told to you cannot hurt you or harm you in anyway. In other words, if you do not lie, you are under the protection of the truth and any lies told to you cannot have any power over you. Hallelujah! No weapon formed against you can prosper.

The truth will guard you and save you from falling or being in any danger and from harm. The truth will cover you with His wings and you will be safe in His care. The truth will protect you and your descendants for thousands of generations to come. Thousands will fall dead beside you; ten thousands all around you but you will not be harmed. The truth will take the lies and turn them around to your advantage. The truth will turn tables around for you so that you will always be the head and not the tail.

Lies will expose you to all manner of dangers that you cannot control or save yourself from. Enough lies will kill and destroy you. Lies can and have destroyed generations. The ripple effect of the hurt that comes from lies is uncontrollable. It persists for up to four generations of your descendants.

When you lie, you hurt others and if those others do not choose to change and instead choose to hurt, they perpetuate the lies and the hurt until the day when someone, anyone, someone like me chooses to change and declares that the lying will end with him or her and stops lying completely.

Lies cannot be stopped by human power. Humans are powerless against lies. Lies are so close to the truth that detecting them requires more than common sense or intelligence. There is absolutely no lie that does not have any truth in it. Lies can only be stopped by supernatural power – the power of the Holy Spirit. Success in the war against lies is not by power or might but by the Holy Spirit.

The Holy Spirit also told me another very powerful truth that sounded strange to my ears. He said that only a person who does not love herself or himself is able to lie. Did you get that?

To know whether you love yourself, check whether you are comfortable with telling lies. If you are comfortable with telling lies, then know that you do not love yourself.

Believe it or not, that is the truth. Love and lies cannot co-exist.

The same applies to the people you lie to. You cannot lie to anyone and then tell her or him that you love her or him! You cannot love someone you lie to. You cannot lie to someone you love. If you can lie to someone, then know that you do not love him or her.

The same applies to the people who lie to you. A person who lies to you cannot love you.

Love is a choice. You cannot choose to love and to lie at the same time. You either choose to love or you choose to lie.

With those lessons from the Holy Spirit, I stopped lying. I got hurt and instead of letting the pain hurt me, I let it change me. The change in me was so awesome, I even chose to forgive. I was so happy with who I had become that I had nothing at all to say to the one who hurt me into becoming me. When I said thank you and tried to help him, he did not understand.

In his world, I am the one who is hurting and I am the one in danger of being destroyed. I am the one who needs help. Not him. Never.

Lies are powerful enough to kill every living thing and destroy the world. It saddens me to know just how powerful lies are by seeing what they have done to my husband. It gives me joy to know that there is a power greater than the power of lies and that there is hope for my husband and for the world; if only enough of us can choose to stop lying.

Women who live on the Highway to Heaven DO NOT LIE. They do not lie because they want to live and not die.

You lie, you die.

Summary for This Lesson:-

Stop lying for your own good. Choose love over lies.

Tip for this lesson:-

You can have the life you want to have if only you stop lying. Nothing else will work. Just stop lying. That is the only price you have to pay for the life you want to have. Believe me, nothing more is required of you.